Thursday, December 5, 2013
Waiting for the Tsunami
Music continues to be the therapy. Last night I brought the boys to see Mom. I asked if she wanted to hear some music and she quickly said "Elvis". Sure enough I tapped my 50's radio icon on itunes and the first song was an Elvis one. Mom likes to hold my phone and look at the screen. She says she likes to see the pictures of the people singing the song. The boys got to see her yesterday when she was the most alert, so I was thankful for that.
This "active dying" process is like a marathon. When I ran the San Francisco nike for the first time and approached the visual of having to run all the way around lake merced at mile 20, I shut down. I told my running girls "I need to stop talking and dig deep to get around this lake". My girlfriends totally accepted my response. I focused on the goal, got introspective and got through it.
The past few days I've laughed. I've been mad. I've cried. It's like waiting for a Tsunami. I know it's coming. I know it will be devastating. I just don't know when it will hit.